“ No, no no. I only have to touch poop with one client.
Gorba
mg
“ Mmmmmm. Fuckin’ pudding.
Gorba’s making pudding in Alaska.
We were wearing war paint.
- Me: You look stupid. Don't look stupid in my house.
- Brittney: We're not wearing war paint or anything...
“ My aunt and uncle were clowns. Like, they went to clown school. But they both died.
Carolyn Lee
“ You know, like “Hey There Delilah”… the Plain White T’s song.
Shawn, confusing the Bible with pop music.
from the eavesdropping archives
- Cameron (while on the phone): What's the big news?
- Cameron: What is it?
- Cameron: YOU GOT A CAT?
- Me: I was kind of bored so I started thinking about you coming and I got so much happier.
- Cameron: Aw, thanks.... wait, reverse 10 seconds and repeat that.
- Me: I was thinking about you and I got happier?
- Cameron: There's a word missing.
- Me: I was thinking about you coming and I got happier.
- Cameron: Yeah, that's it.
stars > fireworks.
“ I BELIEVE IN TRUTH!
Shawn, in the middle of an absurd argument about Project Runway.
“I can’t believe I lost 100lbs”
American Gladiators gets better every week.