mg

I just found an unopened box of toothpaste in my purse.

a thought

Don’t the olympics seem kind of sketchy? Like a worldwide conspiracy? Maybe?

Last night I watched some gymnastics and swimming and then a few hours later woke up in the worst pain I’ve ever been in. I honestly thought my appendix burst. The pain made me sick so I spent most of the night in the bathroom waiting to throw up but then I either blacked out or fell back asleep and woke up in the morning still on the bathroom floor. It’s not that I’m saying watching the olympics caused my terrible night, but, you know.

p.s. I’m totally fine now. Dreamed about an adventure park hybrid of Swiss Family Robinson and Hogwarts.

Possible short film premise that Cameron and I came up with yesterday:

There’s a bumbling doctor fresh out of medical school and he’s thrown immediately into delivering a baby, his first real one ever. He’s frantic and can’t believe his eyes; he never imagined that the gift of life could be so horrific. We haven’t gone into detail about the actual plot, really I don’t think either of us cares how the whole thing turns out. We did come up with things we thought would be funny to hear a young doctor shout during delivery:

• WHAT THE FUCK
• THIS IS NOTHING LIKE THE TEXTBOOK
• DID YOU JUST SHIT? OH MY GOD…
• I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A DANCER

Anyone want to see David Sedaris do a reading in October? I really don’t want to go alone but I will if I have to.

edit: nevermind. I bought a lone ticket because I didn’t think I could count on you fools. You suckas. You foolish suckas.