2008

I just found an unopened box of...

From the looks of the crushed corners and worn down label, it’s been in there for a while....

I check these blogs compulsively. They make me want to try...

a thought

Don’t the olympics seem kind of sketchy? Like a worldwide conspiracy? Maybe? Last night I...

“What? South America doesn’t have computers.”
— Gorba

me: you're so useless.
britt: I have a mustache right now.

Possible short film premise that Cameron and I came up with yesterday: There’s a bumbling...

Anyone want to see David Sedaris do a reading in October? I really don’t want to go alone but...

buttons are a perfect addition to anything. Falcor and...

Gorba: have you ever seen a commercial for a purse that holds two water bottles and has a pocket for everything and is fashionable?
Me: ...you mean any purse?

“It’s the perfect plan: bomb the internet.”
— Gorba + marijuana

“I could’ve sworn there was a nipple there…”
— Brittney

unusual high school essay metaphors

“Brad Pitt’s hair is amazing. Great movie.”
— A Hulu reviewer whose opinion...

It’s all for you Damien Gorba.

I’m officially allowing this* spider to continue...

God was totally on his game tonight. Most clouds only dream...

In traffic just now the woman in the car next to me opened her door and threw up all over the place....

This is how summer should have gone. (via flickr)

flickr One day I want to visit all of the absurd shit...

It must be nice...

Cameron: Ugh, Stella's like a virus that just won't leave.
Me: AIDS?
Cameron: That's not a virus, that's a syndrome. Any questions?
Brittney: Yeah, how dare you.

“When you’re huge your pockets are the size of...

“I have been sexually rejected by not one, but two...

things I used to joke about that I'm...

I am a dropper. I will absolutely drop whatever is put into my hands. Tonight I watched in slow...

There are four people involved in this picture. Brittney got...

“Real nice. Your parents spend years fighting against...

“Would it be unfair of us to say this girl looks like...

Brittney makes a decision

me: are you hungry? do you want to go eat?
britt: I could eat.
me: There's a Subway down the street, want to eat there?
britt: Okay.
me: on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you want to eat there?
britt: all those numbers are good.

“Brawny is really promoting abortion.”
— Brittney, after watching two...

While at the cabin in Cloudcroft, NM, we left all the doors...

Dad and me.

sunset at White Sands, NM. A lot here, and a lot more to...

Tonight we sleep. Tomorrow: vespas.

Brittney and I are in Texas right now watching a medical show about limb deformaties.

“It was great. Except for one thing that was in front of me…”
— Josh Severud, on the same...

I liked her show. Everything makes sense.

Io, one of Jupiter’s moons, has the most impressive...

“Sometimes I gas Mitch under the covers.”
— Gorba can be counted on to...

License plate I wish I had: NVRNUDE.

Listen

New Zealand girl changes bizarre name

The trick to getting me to be a fan of something is to pair...

I’m not saying I’m calling for the assassination...

I don’t know if I want to live in a world where the...

I loved this kid. He touched my lens and I didn’t even...

320: Brittney begins writing on a note card. It starts with "I love zany ziti."
325: Still writing. The note card is getting crowded.
330: Brittney asks me how to spell hepatitis. Continues writing.
335: TBA

Cameron: Ugh, ew, my mouth just touched my sock.
Me: Your sock?
Cameron: Yeah.
Me: Explain what's going on?
Cameron: No.

Before.

After. This morning I caught my mom editing her pictures...

If you couldn’t speak the language of the country you were in, don’t you think...

Last.fm is different. It’s new and unfamiliar and I reject it.

Herp prease. I can’t sleep.

My life is a lie! Somebody’s gotta get stabbed!

“In Dubai, a single ticket costs three islands. There are no...”
— More Dark Knight hype.

What kind of right-minded Phoenix resident plans an outdoor wedding for mid-July? I guess it is...

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you get addicted to crack?...

Oh, did The Dark Knight open today?

“You’re a whore. Actually, no, you’re not. But...”
— playing Super Mario with...

tour de france

Harry and the Potters @ The Modified Arts

This is my favorite secret.

anti-terrorism drills in China to prepare for the Olympics....

vacation

RAIN.

“I mean, if you think about it, the wind is nature’s...”
— Fug Girls

same old.

“I have to stop looking at these. They’re making me...”
— Gorba looks at geoducks.

“No, no no. I only have to touch poop with one client.”
— Gorba

“Mmmmmm. Fuckin’ pudding.”
— Gorba’s making pudding...

We were wearing war paint.

Me: You look stupid. Don't look stupid in my house.
Brittney: We're not wearing war paint or anything...

“My aunt and uncle were clowns. Like, they went to clown...”
— Carolyn Lee

“You know, like “Hey There Delilah”… the...”
— Shawn, confusing the Bible...

from the eavesdropping archives

Cameron (while on the phone): What's the big news?
Cameron: What is it?
Cameron: YOU GOT A CAT?

Me: I was kind of bored so I started thinking about you coming and I got so much happier.
Cameron: Aw, thanks.... wait, reverse 10 seconds and repeat that.
Me: I was thinking about you and I got happier?
Cameron: There's a word missing.
Me: I was thinking about you coming and I got happier.
Cameron: Yeah, that's it.

stars > fireworks.

“I BELIEVE IN TRUTH!”
— Shawn, in the middle of an...

“I can’t believe I lost 100lbs” American...

Brittney “I’m Going to Kick You in the Face and...

Me: Will you give me my phone back now?
Shawn: Well, I would but it's in my pants.
Me: That's actually a pretty good excuse.

There are birds everywhere.

I thought tonight would be the start of monsoon season but...

My new fisheye attachment came yesterday and I discovered...

Facebook thinks I might know him and for the first time, I...

Helping my mom upload CDs to her new iPod shuffle. Enya,...

uglysound: This book was in the clearance section for $3 at...

finished painting and organizing. My room is so sexy.

Mek,ns = Mackenzie

I was going to photoshop mine, Brittney’s, and...

“I worry sometimes I can almost physically see the dumbing...”
— Andrew Stanton, director of...

Lonely hovering balloon in the grocery store.

My Dell saved by the grace of god.

Night hike. We’re discovering that the only way to do...

“Often I’d take out my magnifying glass and stare into...”
— David Sedaris, for the last...

“You’re going to hell,” the boy said. “Is...”
— David Sedaris, who refused to...

Blind contours of each other. I’ve been working on...

Blind contour drawings of Charles Barkley.

“Eighteen across: “Not impressed” Eleven down:...”
— David Sedaris. I’m torn...

thriving in the fashion world since 1987.

“She had this attitude, not that she was better than us but...”
— David Sedaris

“Some people like her, most people want to deck her.”
— Dad on mom.

For the past three nights I’ve been sleeping in the spare room while redoing my own. This room...

“Can’t I love you both without having to suck on...”
— Brittney, in response to...

The Dream Team in a cave under a waterfall. These rocks were...

decrafting today. if read quickly, that word can come...

Air pollution in Beijing. via The Big Picture, which is...

oh my god would you look at that fucking banana. it is so...

I have a feeling I’m going to end up liking the way my...

I don't expect my tall friends to read...

Historically, people have always been short. Why, just a hundred years ago the average man could...

He’s been on my mind all day, and I don’t know why, but I am really angry with Alec...

Shawn: How can you dive into a pile of gold coins? Wouldn't it hurt?
me: What are you thinking about? What's going on up there?
Shawn: Duck Tales.

#7. Almost everyone I follow on tumblr as the cast of Freaks...

Brittney and I bought a bag of assorted googly eyes. They...

dreamed that I had a meeting with Miranda July to take her portrait for the jacket of her new book...

#6. Should Paul Simon ever see this I want it to be known...

Looking dramatic outside of a church in Sedona but actually...

Hiking West Fork with the Dream Team.

New glasses have engraved butterflies on them. I should...

FUNNY THINGS GET FUNNIER.

crafty day. made a pimp cup, nbd.

At the last wedding we did I followed The Mustache around...

JJGo ep. 62

Jesse: This guy is a human anatomy professor and I would be willing to accept his offer (to see a dead body) if he would be willing to show me what a clitoris is.
Jordan: That's like a dolphin but it's longer.
Jesse: Ohhh, it's got the long nose.

#5. The original bad boys.Gay JTT and Dead Brad Renfro would...

Happy birthday to the most impressive jumper I know.

Grizzly Man

narrator: so and so woman insists that she and timothy were strictly platonic friends.
woman: he stored his gear in my basement during the winters.
Shawn: if that's what she wants to call it...